The Bookstore Lady Offers a Lesson in Bookstore Etiquette

Dear Bookstore Lady:

I love to shop at my local independent bookstore. The booksellers are so knowledgeable and spend lots of time discussing new titles and old favorites; sometimes I just listen in to hear what they’re recommending to other customers. I can tell they spend a lot of time and effort creating displays of appealing books, and that there’s a lot of thought that goes into what books they choose to feature.

I was recently shopping at the bookstore in my town with a friend of mine who works for a New York publishing house. I did the usual: asked a bookseller to remember a book that was on the art table last summer; referenced a book I couldn’t recall the author or title of (good thing the store keeps a year’s worth of NYT Sunday Book Reviews on hand!); had one of the booksellers track down a book I’m reading on my Kindle so I could show it to my friend, and took camera-phone pictures of books I want to read. Then I asked to use the bathroom, because I hate going to the public restroom down the street.

When I didn’t buy anything my friend asked why. I told her that I couldn’t afford to buy books at the indie, just shop — and that I’d later go home and order all the books from the big discount-y website. My friend told me that I was rude, and that “I didn’t get it.” What is it that I didn’t get? And what on Earth did I do that was so bad?

Signed,
Boggled Bibliophile

Dear Boggled,

You are one or two steps away from becoming an independent bookseller’s best customer! You love to read, you browse enough to remember books months later, you recognize the work and expertise of the booksellers in your favorite stores and you value the resources local indies provide. Let’s see if I can make you understand what’s holding you back.

When a bookseller spends time and effort  providing you with experienced booksellers and a great environment to shop in and then you pay someone else for what you used for free it’s not just rude. It’s mean.

These booksellers have families to provide for and bills to pay. These indie bookstores are the ones you approach for gift certificates to raffle off for your kid’s class, or ask to support your local Little League.  These stores will open for you at odd hours for the emergency copy of “Catcher in the Rye” your 10th grader needs in 6 hours. These stores employ your neighbors, heck — are your neighbors. The taxes these businesses and booksellers pay go back into your community. These booksellers vote in your local elections and volunteer at your local charities.

And when was the last time you asked a website to let you use the bathroom?

So, stop taking pictures or asking for paper and pencil to make your "menu" for ordering online later. Thank your booksellers by spending a few extra bucks at their store, knowing that the money filters back into your community. Talk to them, knowing that when they get to know you as a person they will be able to recommend tons of titles that will be perfect for you — that’s something an algorithm cannot do. Understand that what you value about an independent bookstore doesn’t exist in a vacuum.

And really, you should use the bathroom before you leave home.