Manners Matter in Sports! Check It Out!

Manners Matter a Lot in Sports!  Take a Look!                        

NBA Basketball finals, the beginnings of Wimbleton, Stanley Cup hockey games, the Triple Crown horseraces, the U.S. Golf Open…we are surrounded by happenings in sports this early part of summer.  Manners matter in all of these sports, not only in acknowledging good play by opponents but in recognizing what the rules are by which each of the sports is played. In fact, the beginning of summer sports provide all sorts of activities in which young people can be involved and have fun: baseball, football, soccer, lacrosse, hockey, and more.  Practicing good manners in all these sports means simply playing by their rules. Children need encouragement and reinforcement to see that the object of having rules (in sports or any activity) is to make it possible for each side to get a fair deal.  When someone breaks the rules or complains about them, he or she is a poor sport.

       Just like manners, all sports are based on traditions and a code of good play.  This code has just a few rules every child (and adult!) should keep in mind. Here’s a simple list developed by Marjabelle Young Steward and Ann Buchwald that I use in my manners classes to reinforce the importance of good manners in sports.  They fit for children and adults:

1. Learn the rules of the game and obey them. 
2. Be a good loser.  Compliment the winner on his or her skill after the game is over.
3. Support one’s partner or team, and, if the loser, never put the blame on others.  Never criticize another player—everyone makes mistakes.
4. Never complain about the rules, the coach or the referee.
5. Don’t make excuses about one’s own play or that of teammates.
6. Give one’s all to win or lose and accept the decision of those in charge of judging the game.

Rule 2 reminds me of tennis great Roger Federer (see below) and his responses, win or lose to his opponents.  Watch him and you’ll catch good manners in action. 

Using tennis as an example, you can see some specific rules of manners or etiquette…and they are not hard to follow,  niceties you need to know,  Here are some tennis manners to keep in mind as suggested by Director of Tennis for the Southampton Racquet Club and Camp, Reza Tompsett.  The first rule he says is to have fun and not stress!  Here are a few other suggestions from him:

• If you arrive at a court while other people are playing, wait until the point is over before passing behind to get to your own court.
• If your ball rolls into the adjacent court, don't run after it. Simply say "thank you" and wait for your neighbor to return the ball when it's convenient. If a ball rolls onto your court, toss it back to the player it belongs to when a point is ended.
• Since stray balls are distracting and potentially dangerous, you should call a "let" if a ball rolls onto the court while the point is in play. A "let" is basically a do-over, and the point should be replayed.

• When making calls, always speak clearly, loudly, and matter-of-factly to inform your opponents if a ball is out or fair.
• If you have any doubt about whether a ball is out, you should make the call in favor of your opponent.
• When playing doubles, communicate with your partner when it's unclear who should go after a shot. Simply say "yours," "mine," or "got it!"
• Make sure you have two balls when it's your serve, and call out the score before your first serve…then you are sure that everyone is aware of the score.
• At the end of the game, shake hands with your opponents.

Tompsett adds, “There are days when you lose a match and want to put the blame on something other than yourself (wind, court conditions, etc.).  But, he says, be sure to give credit to the fact that your opponent played better than you did on that day!   Federer emphasizes this, saying, “I respect everyone I play”.  He adds, “I fear no one, but respect everyone”….no matter who he plays, he always gives them his best….advice on manners from one of the greatest tennis players in history.

In the coming weeks, I'll be taking a more detailed look at specific manners and why they’re important in everyday life. I’ll share my experiences as an etiquette instructor. And I’ll answer your questions as to what manners are appropriate in a given situation. (If you prefer to remain anonymous, let me know.)

I invite you to submit your comments and questions to me at Catherine@manhattanmanners.com.